How to budget and save more money

You can’t get married without a budget

As I watched the sun set on my twenties, it dawned on me that I did not want to spend another decade teetering on the precipice of debt. In my twenties I tried to “find myself” through labor and discipline: scooping sawdust out of bins at the City College of New York’s woodworking shop, greasing tins during overnight shifts at the Sullivan Street bakery in Hell’s Kitchen, and washing dishes at SPoT coffee in Buffalo. As I approached my thirties, I decided to “make myself” and I began to seek knowledge from all directions related to personal finance. I listened to hundreds of podcast episodes on from ChooseFI, read dozens of books in the vein of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and I asked to hear the stories of friends and acquaintances who had reached the mythical status of millionaire. I was committed to escaping the insecurity of financial instability. 

Learning about your workplace benefits 

On an episode of the ChooseFI podcast, I heard that many people have workplace benefits they do not utilize. I contacted Nancy, the human resources officer at my job, and asked to sit down with her for a chat. “Do you know about your EAP benefits?” she asked. “You have all types of free counseling through it: marriage, financial, and nutritional…it really helped me and Teddy get through some tough times.” 

I signed up for financial counseling and soon after, Cole called me to ask a few questions:

“So Sean, do you want to get married?” he asked. 

“Yes,” I responded. 

“Ok, so you’re gonna want to begin saving up money for that. Typically, I recommend my clients save at least $20,000, and if you want to get married in the next five years, you can divide that $20,000 by 60 months. So, add $350 a month to your budget to be safe.” 

We continued forecasting future expenses and breaking them into manageable monthly chunks, while adding them to a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet summed all these expenses up and gave me a numerical value to represent the monthly income I would need to live my ideal lifestyle. 

Why do I need a budget? 

For the first time I realized success no longer had to be a nebulous ideas like “be wealthy,” “happy,” or “famous”. Rather, if I could find a way with all the cleverness, ingenuity, and privilege that I was blessed with to cover my expenses each month, I could then afford a wedding in Mill Valley, owning a home in Sonoma, and winter breaks in Kauai. As a kid in school, I would sit “front-most, center-most,” turn in projects before the deadline, and attend office to have my work reviewed before being graded. I loved the challenge of meeting the expectations provided by teachers. When I transitioned from school into adulthood, I felt disoriented with the lack of expectations and clarity. Where was the syllabus? I spent thousands of dollars and hours creating a music production company, then a writing company, only to have these projects peeter out because I was unable to generate substantial income to support my lifestyle. Learning to budget with Cole taught me the necessary pre-work of estimating expenses and setting financial goals that would keep me afloat during periods of growth and transition. 

How to budget when you are married 

After getting married and joining our bank accounts, my wife and I began to budget together. We would sit down over coffee and sort our disparate expenses from the previous month into neat categories. Sometimes, this led to the revelation of embarrassing spending habits and uncomfortable dialogues. “Sean, why did you spend $600 at Costco this month?” 

“Well, I am opening this new travel rewards credit card and I needed to meet the spending limit so I purchased a $500 Coscto gift card.” 

“WHAT? Why did you open a new credit card without talking with me?” 

Slowly, by budgeting together, I learned financial accountability to my wife, and our relationship deepened because I would weigh each decision with her money and credit in mind. We did our budget in the context of a family meeting and began to set relationship goals. If nothing else, having a family meeting with a budget discussion embedded into it gave us a reason to sit down and be present together. Through this process, I learned about my expenses and which ones I could control and which ones would be consistent on a month-to-month basis. 

What is the difference between fixed and variable expenses? 

By constantly seeking ways to decrease my expenses in order to save more money, I learned the difference between fixed expenses like utilities, transportation, and rent, and variable expenses like eating out, concerts, and subscription services. After reviewing the previous months expenditures, we set objectives to hold our spending on certain variable expenses to a limit for the new month and highlighted that category in red to keep it in mind. Then, we would forecast a number to spend in that category for the current month and hold each other accountable toward that goal. 

How to calculate your savings rate

Our savings rate, or the percentage you get when you divide the money remaining after all your expenses by your total income, hovered around 8% for the year of 2019, even with monthly student debt payments and a new baby daughter. Our goal now is to continuously be above a 10% savings rate each month, and eventually, closer to 50%. Here is an easy way to calculate your savings rate: 

Calculate your savings rate: 
income minus expenses = surplus 
surplus divided by income = savings rate 
How to calculate your savings rate

How can a budget help you save more? 

Before learning to budget, I spent the majority of my twenties with never more than $1,000 in my bank account. Granted, I was lucky not to be in debt, but rarely did I have the extra income to snowboard at Mount Rose, eat out at Central Market, or purchase a Honda that was made in the last ten years. Maintaining a budget became a mirror by which I could reflect on my habits in a small quadrant of time and take immediate action to improve my life. Working with my wife on this process brought us closer together and made us a team that is twice as strong in earning power and accountability than we would be alone. 

Since beginning the budgeting process I’ve met many goals that I set out to do: I purchased a home in Northern California, I married a brilliant and loving woman surrounded by family and friends, and I became a father to a beautiful daughter. Choosing to reflect on my choices through maintaining a budget and collaborating with my wife has given me both the hope and ability to design a life that I want. Where will a budget take you? 

2 thoughts on “How to budget and save more money

    1. Thank you! Ours is also eating out, but going through my budget sheets from last year I also noticed that the one unplanned trip we took up to Tahoe (skiing, eating out, gas, etc) was one of the largest single expenses in the year. Going to work around that in 2020 by making a list of annual items and adding “unplanned vacation” as one of them.

      Liked by 1 person

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